|
|
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
| |
11:17 pm - long time no type
|
Ok. So the last time I left you all in the Soap Opera I like to call my life, Jordan and I had gone through a devestating 24 hour break up (yes, now it seems like a puney day, but for me I didn't know when it would end!). Since then it's been a rocky time but we've done it. For about the first month I had major trust issues, and became as clingy as you can imagine (I'm embarrased to even say that). But then I realized that I need to trust him, and that it's ok if we dont do EVERYTHING together, and that he doesn't have to come over EVERY night. And the more space I gave him, and the less I tried to make it seem like I cared, the more he wanted to be around me. When I stopped putting pressure on him and stopped being needy, then he wanted to be around me and enjoy my company. And now there are no more wedding talks. Well... we say SOMEDAY, but not anytime soon. :) If we're married when we're 25, then cool, well.. when I'm 25 and he's 28, but if not, I know we'll still be together and I'm ok with that. In late september it seemed like things were finally back to normal.. in fact.. it seemed like things were even better than before. And that has lasted! For my birthday he suprised me with Toby Keith tickets, which he woke up early to buy during his week vacation. :) I was soooo suprised and happy! And he even missed his brothers footbal game (it was the first playoff game!) I attempted to sell the tickets, so he wouldn't have to miss it, but that didn't work out. But he was happy to get to take me, and was so adorable for putting up with a country concert. I still have my insecurites, and I need to learn to deal with them, but I can't push them off on him, and let them control our relationship. So all is well... now if only i could find a new job. But that's a story for antoher day. I hope everybody is enjoying their time off at college!
current mood:  tired
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, July 11th, 2004
| |
12:46 pm - And I thought I was past high school...
|
OK! FOR THE F*CKING RECORD! I AM NOT PREGNANT! I DO NOT HAVE STDS, SO ANYBODY WHO HAS HEARD THOSE RUMORS CAN KISS MY F*ING ASS!
phew. i feel better now. why the hell do people feel the need to call me and ask me stupid questions like if i'm pregnant and have stds (which i'm not and do not). i don't think it's any of anybodys damn business, ESPECIALLY people from my high school whom i don't give a flying fuck about! and by the way, SHOULD i happen to get pregnant, no it wouldn't be planned, but i wouldn't be ashamed of it. i'd be overjoyed and find a way to deal with it. so yah. there. my rant and raving is done. :)
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, June 18th, 2004
| |
12:19 am - Like graduation all over again...
|
Only this time no presents. lol :) Today was my last day working at Flyin Pie. Kinda sad, but really exciting at the same time. I didn't really even work. lol I showed up, took Matt to get his paycheck cashed (we're ok now i guess), and got back and the head honcho Ty told me to go home. So i was there for a grand total of maybe 30 minutes. lol :) But I went back at like 7 o'clock to say goodbye to the people that I'm going to miss a ton. I didn't cry. I was suprised at that. :) I think the main reason I didn't cry was cause I know that I'll see them again. It's not like I'm disapearing. My new work is just like 2 blocks away, and so I'm sure I'll go in a couple times on my lunch hour and visit with people. :) It's just too crazy. I'm so nervous about starting this new job. I know I'm gonna love it, and in the long run it's a very good career move. But I can't help but feel sad about leaving my friends behind. Guess I'll have to find someone else to hang out with. lol :) Well, I better be off to bed. I gotta head out to Lake Oswego tomorrow to go help my sis teach my nephews how to swim! I'll let you know how that fiasco goes. :) hehe NIGHT!
current mood:  contemplative
current music: The sounds of the ancient computer working hard
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, May 21st, 2004
| |
12:32 am - Life is like a box of chocolates...
|
If life was really like a friggen box of chocolates then everything would be sweet and carmely now woudln't it!!?!?!?!?!?
Life fucking sucks right now! I hate my job! My job is the reason I never see my boyfriend! Its also the reason I never see my parents! It's the reason I'm always tired! And the reason I can't sleep at night! The late nights are my bosses fault, and the reason my being at work sucks ass is rooted to one asshole that shall be known only by that!
I hate him. He sexually harassed me, and after I told him to stop he continued to. He belittled me in front of other employees. Since I've become manager, he's been rude to me, disobeyed me, and done nothing but make my life HELL. And what do the bosses do? NOTHING! He harrassed a customer and they complained so he got written up. WHOOPTIE DO! He still does it! He still hits on customers! And FINALLY last night someone else got to see the asshole that I know! The bosses best friend and neighbor is the manager on wednesdays with me, and he pushed her buttons to the point that she is fuming! She really got in an argument with him last night. So you'd figure that would make the light go on in my bosses heads that maybe it's not just me. Maybe... JUST MAYBE... this guy has a serious issue that needs to be dealt with! BUT NO! Thats not at all how it is! They defend him! They tell me that they can see how from his perspective that it could look like we're "ganging up on him" and that I'm "treating him differently than others" which is not the case! I let things go. I forgave him. I have only told him ONCE when he made me mad, and other than that, I keep my mouth shut!
I didn't get to finish the conversation with me boss, but if they demote me, I'm quiting. Thats it. I'm so damn frustrated. I'm not doing this anymore. I need another job. I'm to the piont that i'm about to lose it. I'm gonna end up curling up in a ball crying, and rocking back in forth! I can't do this. I hate my life.
current mood:  pissed off
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, April 19th, 2004
| |
12:42 pm
|
That wouldn't be so creepy if jordan and I had different last names. But we aren't related!
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
| |
2:29 am - MOOD CHANGE
|
Ok. So I bet you're thinking that a mood change at 2:30 in the morning is a bit odd.. yes.. yes it is. :) BUT I no longer want to lock all boys away :) Especially my sweetie. :) It's amazing how something as simple as him coming over here at 1 am to watch his fav tv show (which I taped since he had to work) can change my mood around completely. Before he got here I started his fav food (grilled cheese sandwiches) and when he got here I felt all wifey. :) I loved it! It's like a glimpse into the future of me waiting up for him to get home and making him dinner at ungodly hours. :) What can I say? I love the man! hehe ANYWAYS, all is right in Dawns world again. :) I guess I shoudln't take it so personally next time he has a bad day and wants to stay at home by himself. Its just that whenever it happens I feel like he's not staying ath ome because of a bad mood, it feels like he's staying at home to be away from me. Which then makes me sad. But I guess I need to just get over it and come to the realization that when he's cranky he wants to be alone and not take it out on me, and I can't fix his mood, despite my want to. I didn't want to become a fussy, neurotic, obessive girlfriend, but I guess in my own quirky way I have. Not that I'm psycho or anything, just my past experiences have caused me to be weary and frightful for no reason. Stupid past boys named ShitHead! (Erica, you know the name, don't make me say it!)
I've already accepted that I've found THE ONE now I just need to stop being such a worry wart, and enjoy it. :) You'd figure after 7 months I'd be used to it, but no, I'm still a freak. lol Boy am I glad he still loves me anyways!!
WELL GOOD NIGHT!! And Erica, Good luck with all your dan-related issues, whether they end in a iel-prefix or not. :) Next time you make a guy friend, could he not be a dan? I'm kinda tired of attempting to sort them all out. hehe JK. I love all your dans! Especially the ones with no iel.. i think the iel is equal to the phrase "butthead" in lattin. ;)
NIGHT!
current mood:  giddy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
| |
10:51 pm - YAY FOR THAI DATES
|
Yah, so this morning started off great with a good 2 hour girl talk lunch with Erica, then some starbucks. :) Then I went and took my auto loan papers to my credit union (I should know tomorrow whether I can get the car or not). And then I came home, napped for 20 min, woke up, went downstairs and watched last nights American Idol that my mom taped for me. I LOVE THAT SHOW! And then I went and had dinner with Jordan. :) He's been working nights lately, from 3-midnight which blows cause I don't get to see him as often, but yet good cause he's getting money again and it's giving me a chance to work more too and get more hours in. So we went and had chinese food (which was really good!). Then back home for the American Idol results show. America kicked off the wrong guy. Damn Americans. lol
So yah. Then tonight I went online and looked at my grades. And I'm happy cause I got a C in Business Law ( I thought I'd get a D), but i'm pissed cause I got a C in Wr121 and a B in First Aid. I kicked ass in first aid class!! I passed everything, showed up to class every day, and achieved getting my first aid/cpr certificate. Yet I get a friggen B! I'm pissed. It's a good thing i'm taking spring off cause I'm just fed up with school. It seems no matter how hard I dedicate myself to a class, I still get screwed. Stupid school.
But oh well. I'm still in a good moood. Well I'm off to bed so I can wake up early enough to go to work tomorrow. :) NIGHT!
current mood:  blah
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, March 6th, 2004
| |
12:14 am - She works hard for her money!!! :)
|
Good old songs.. lol :) So work thus far is awesome!! There's only a couple people I can't stand, but that's about it. And one of them I have a good reason to not like so much because the first day I worked with him he hit on me, and then even after I made it VERY clear that I have a boyfriend he still stood a little too close, and made efforts to be near me. He seriously followed me around. It was kinda creepy.. But anyways.. Other than that work is great! I have 2 of the best bosses in the world! (the owners!) And the owner of the Flying Pie down on stark is also working with us there, and he is amazing. He is number one in the world for pizza throwing. It's crazy!! :) I have a lot to learn from him. But the bosses are great cause even tho we've been insanely busy (more than expected) they don't take out their stress on us too much. :) They're still smiling and laughing and letting us know we're doing a good job and are appriciated. I don't think I've ever been at a job where I have gotten so much support and praise for doing a good job. Normally the manager or boss doesn't even notice anything. But there they are so supportive and helpful and want us all to succeed. :) I'm sooooo glad I got a job there.. even if it means i'm gonna gain a bazillion pounds cause the pizza there is the best! :) So yah. That's about all that's really giong on in my life. That and maybe the possibility of moving out this summer. :) And I've officially decided to take spring and summer sessions off from school and go back in the fall and start my 2 year program. :) This much needed break will be WONDERFUL! Well I hope all is well for everybody else!
Bye!!!
current mood:  crazy
current music: "love me"-collin raye. one of mine and jordans songs. ;)
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, February 21st, 2004
| |
12:26 am
|
So after a frustrating and stressful night I'm feeling a bit better. I know that Jordan doesn't mean to hurt me, and he explained it to me. We were right Erica. :) Guys aren't programmed to think about other peoples feelings the same way girls are. Jordan explained that he isn't used to having to think about how his actions will affect someone else, and he's never cared about someone as much as he cares about me, and he never wants to hurt me, but doesn't realize that what he does sometimes hurts me. He appologized and I could tell that he truly felt bad. he wasn't just apologizing becasue I was mad at him, or to get out of trouble, it was cause he truly felt bad for making me cry. (and yes, i cried in his arms. i couldn't help it!) But I feel better now having spent the evening together. I mean, the feeling of hurt is still there, but I know it'll go away after a good night of sleep. It's just the PMS left now. I still love him more than anything. I guess it's normal in a relationship to fight occasionally and to have feelings hurt on accindent (it's never ok to hurt someone on purpose!) but accidents happen and it's a part of life. :) Just wanted to update you on that and hope that the retard (sorry, it's the only name i can think to call him) situation gets better. Keep me updated and I'll do the same for you!!!
LOVE YOU ERICA!
current mood: PMS should be a mood
current music: the theme song to sister sister
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
| |
12:24 am
|
Are you obsessed with sex?:
You're more Harlequin than Hustler. If your crush is the same way, you've got a perfectly passionate partnership just waiting to happen. But if the object of your perfume-and-roses fantasies prefers more realistic ambitions, you could be in for a challenge. Remember that thinking about sex is totally normal, but if you get your hopes up too high you might be in for some disappointment.
HAHA. Take that! lol :) They say I'm not THAT dirty.. :)
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 16th, 2004
| |
11:32 am - Ahh the memories...
|
So in an attempt to avoid working on homework, I was reading through my old jornal entries. Actually I was reading through them to see if I could let Jordan read them, and I discovered that of course he could read them cause there isn't anything bad in there. I was just afraid of what I may have said of past guys. I'm a very jealous girl (i will admit it, but I blame past guys i've dated for making me this way) and yesterday I was looking through some pics Jordan had and there were some from his after-prom night when he went to the beach with his friends and his then girlfriend. I know this is stupid cause they broke up 3 years ago, and he only dated her in high school, but just seeing his arms around her killed me. Jordan didn't care about the pictures and wanted to throw them away anyways, so I asked him if i could just cut her out, and he said yes. :) So using his pocket knife I cut her out of each picture. :) He's still in them with his friends, but she's just an empty hole. :) I don't know why but it just made me feel soooo much better. She was ugly anyways... lol :) And in return I'm gonna let him look through my pics and cut out pics of shithead or whomever (altho i don't really have any pics other than dance photos with shithead in them.) But oh well. :) Is it a bad thing that I'm so protective and paranoid? I think it stems from the fact that shithead nor any other guy was ever commited to me, and always cheated on me, and made out with other girls fully knowing that I would find out. So now that I've actually found the man of my dreams and I'm so completely in love with him, I just want to know that he's all mine, and there aren't any past girls that could come into the picture and screw things up. I know that there aren't any guys in my past that I would even think of leaving Jordan for, and there aren't any guys in my future either that I would. But my paranoia is hard to destroy. Slowly I'm getting better at not being jealous, but it'll take time. I'm just glad that Jordan is so understanding about all of this, and doesn't get mad at my jealous (at least he doesn't show it to me.) I truly am the luckiest girl ever. :)
current mood:  happy
current music: waiting or a song to download
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, February 13th, 2004
| |
12:38 pm
|
So I realized last night around 8 pm that I hadn't done my detailed outline for my paper in WR121, and rather than send Jordan home and do it (cause I think outlines are the most annoying and pointless thing ever!) i let him stay till I fell asleep at 11:30, then he left while i was half awake. So this morning I woke up at like 9:00 and was mad cause I had planned to sleep in till 11. So 9:45 rolls around and I think to myself, "oh darn.. can't go to class.. shucks.." I know I really should feel bad about skipping, but I just couldn't make myself go. lol So then I layed around watching tv till I fianlly got up and got ready for class. Now I'm just wasting time till I HAVE to go get dressed and leave. :) The class that I have is First Aid, and I dont' wanna go cause there's a test, but I know I'll do fine and pass since I know all the stuff, and the teacher knows that I know the stuff. All it is is proving I know what to do in a situation (like CPR, rescue breathing, and an unconscious choking victim). But THEN I have to take the test to get Red Cross certified, which I'm kinda nervous about, but not really since I know I can do it. :) I just hate tests. *sigh* oh well. All I have to do for the rest of the day is go to work at 6:30-9:30, come home, be lazy, and tomorrow go hang out with Erica then do the fun V-day things with Jordan. :) WE're gonna go see 50 first dates. That looks like such a cute movie!! Well, I guess I better get my booty up and get dressed so i can go to class then go pick up my paycheck so I can actually get gas in my car and have money for lunch tomorrow with Erica! YAY>
Everybody have a wonderful day!!!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 9th, 2004
| |
11:25 am - *typewriter sound* Weekday Update with Dawn Allen
|
haha. It's like one of those really bad night talk shows where they have the typewriter sound effect. :o) K. So I'm strange. :oD So anyways... I'm really upset cause there's a way cute dog running down 282nd (which is a pretty busy road) and it almost got hit like 3 times. And I calle the Humane Society and they said that it'd be a while because they don't have anybody out in the area. :( I'm really worried about the dog, but my mom says I can't save it. :( I hope they get to it before some asshole driving too fast around the corner hits it. :( Why must I love animals so darn much?!?! :( *sigh* On a happier note I have a new pet. He is a betta fish named Bernie. He's light yellow with a hint of blue on his tail. That's a strange color for a fish, since normally they're bright blue and red and gorgeous. This guy is "Special". :) lol Jordan wants to breed him with his female bettas, which I kinda have to let him since he bought the fish for me, but I don't wanna watch, cause that just seems creepy to me. lol Maybe I'm just strange in the fact that I don't want to watch animals mate. lol
Well Anyways... I better be off to do somthign... I'm not sure what yet, but I'll figure it out once I leave. :)
current mood:  worried
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, January 31st, 2004
| |
2:29 am - The game of life..
|
I wish the world was like the game of life. Either you go to college, or you don't. After about 17 moves you get married. At any time you could randomly get some money, or have twins. You have the peak points in yourl ife, but you always have choices, but can cheat and count ahead to see what the choices are. But no.. in the real world we have ups, we have downs, and you never know if the ups will be more or the downs will. And sometimes it feels like it's hopeless. But in the end, we have a personal choice to make. To keep on gonig and wait for the possibility for things to get better, or just give up and never know what the future may hold. I personally chose to keep going; to see what lays ahead and the joys that life can bring. I just hope that those people in my life that I care most about make the same choices. Because you have to suffer through the bad to get to the good. And in the end it's all worth it.. it's just a matter of making it to the end.
current mood: contemplative
current music: jett jackson time
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
| |
2:00 pm
|
I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
Guess this means I should probably finally watch the movie all the way through, altho I'm sure I've seen the whole thing when you put together the bits and pieces. :) Good movie. :)
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, December 12th, 2003
| |
1:06 pm
|
|
| Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
| |
2:06 pm
|
|
I just love drama. I wish I had drama giong on every single day of my life. If you think i'm being serious you should pinch yourself really hard. lol I NEED VENTING TIME! People are just being pissy today. I say hi to them and the next thing i know they're biting my head off. I just don't get it. As if finals weren't stressing enough.. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 8th, 2003
| |
12:45 am - Horray!!
|
Only 3 days of finals, well only 4 finals on 3 days, but you know what I mean! :) Between finals and studying I have a LOT of packing to do! I can't remember if I wrote on here last time about my plans to transfer next term. I'm going to Mt. Hood next term and already have my classes scheduled. Now I just have to get my transcripts transfered there and go take the dumb math placement test and figure out what class I'm gonna be put in. :) HOpefully it won't be lower than the one I just took. lol But all is going well. I spent friday till now at home and I'm happier than ever. I LOVE being home. I love waking up and coming downstairs on the weekend and seeing my parents and talking to them about anything and everything. My parents are truly cool. :) I also love not having people "checking up" on me. I like the freedom that my parents give me that I don't seem to get at school.. funny how that works. It's a little bit backward, but oh well. :) I also love that Jordan is only 15 min away instead of 45 min away so when he comes over I don't feel so bad and I'm more inclined to drive my sorry butt over to his house. :) Erica, I love your happy list. :) Reading it makes me think of all the simple pleasures there are every day that I miss. I'm especially starting to realize them now, having lived away from home for a while. I used to want to move out sooo badly in order to do, what I thought, were sooo many things. And I've come to realize that everything I wanted to leave to do I either can do while living at home, or aren't good decisions to make, and I shouldn't be doing them in the first place. It's only taken me 3 months to realize this.. well actually I realized this 2 months ago, but haven't exactly admitted this to anybody. Plus events of this past week really opened up my eyes to a lot of things. So yah. lol
I'm so excited for christmas! This is the first year I've been excited in the past 5 years.. sad huh? Last year was hard since it was the 1st Christmas since Papa died a year before on Dec 26th at 12:20 pm (only 20 min past christmas day, but 20 min into his 70th birthday). But this year I'm truly excited. I'm happy to get to spend Christmas at home since I missed Thanksgiving with the fam, plus I have Jordan to spend it with, and this is our first christmas together. :) It'll be a busy day tho cause he wants me to go to christmas at his grandparents, then to his parents, and then to my parents. lol We aren't even engaged yet and already I'm playing the mulitiple Christmas' game! lol :) He said some things tonight that makes me think he's gonna be getting an engagement ring for me for christmas... either that or some lingere from victoria secret... cause he said he was gonna get me something, and it's at the mall, and he couldn't get it cause his grandparents were there.. so those are the only 2 things I could think of.. I'm gonna go with the lingere from victoria secret cause I don't see why he'd hide the other from his grandparents. So yah. Woohoo I'm getting way cute stuff from Victoria secret for Christmas!! :) Man, only 16 shopping days left till christmas! Hopefully I'll manage to have all of mine done after next Sunday. Especially since the following Saturday is Jordan's birthday AND the christmas party at my work. And that means I need gifts for both. lol Jeeze. Right now I'm really craving some thai food.. guess that means its' about time for another thai food and starbucks date with Erica!! :) By the way.. Someday I'm hoping you'll get to meet Jordan. :) Maybe you could invite ex-retard along for the meeting so it's not an odd number... :) Well, Let me know! Horray for christmas break!!!
current music: jingle bells is running through my head
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 1st, 2003
| |
3:10 am - Class in t-minus 7 hours and 11 minutes
|
So it's the night, well morning before classes start after thanksgiving break. I bet you're wondering what I am doing up so late the sunday after thanksgiving.. well I'm doing homework that I procrastinated till the very last minute. But it only took me 2 hours to do 5 pages for my business plan (which I hope i did well on, cause it's a group project, and I know they already feel like I haven't pulled my weight, and i don't want to let them down). I'm also currently waiting for 50 pages to print off about the salmon population in oregon, and ways they are using to help it to increase and all that good stuff (gotta love science projects). Soon I will be getting off the net and spending the next hour or so reading my science book. I just found out tonight that I have a test in Science tomorrow, and I haven't gone to class for the past week (before break) due to many different reasons... :) One of which being getting snowed in. I also should try and write some for my spiratual journal for Faith for the Future, but I'm not feeling quite like writing that right now. It's hard tof eel spriatual when you're tired. But this is all my fualt. I think moving back home and going to Mt. Hood will be good for me. I did so well in school up until the 2nd month, and after that I've been bored. I feel like this semester has dragged on long enough, and I'mr eady for new classes. Mt. Hood will be good because they have trimesters, so I get to switch classes every 2 1/2 months. which means I won't end up getting bored. :) Plus I'll save a ton of money, which is awesome. And my parents have even promised me a new car if I leave this school and move back home and go to community college. Plus I want to move home. :) So this is a win win situation for me. :) I'm so excited! Now I just have to get through the next 2 weeks of school. Any encouraging words you may have would be greatly appriciated. I need all the support I can get. :) Well I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving! I'm off to do more homework! Bye :)
current mood:  aggravated
current music: the sound of my hardworking printer after 30 pg of crap
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, November 17th, 2003
| |
1:16 pm
|
Only 4 more days till Thanksgiving break. I can't wait. :) I'm sick, yet again. lol Yesterday it was the puky kind of sick, today it's the runny nose sore throat kind of sick. This will be the 4th time I've gotten this same damn cold. Heather thinks it's cause I'm not getting enough sleep. Lizzie thinks the same thing. I'm just running myself ragged, and I need to stop. I can't wait to go home for thanksgiving break, and get lots and lots of sleep. :) I'm so excited! The only bad thing is that I have to travel with the basketball team to Bellingham, WA for a tournement and I'm gonna mis thanksgiving with my family.. I kinda really don't wanna go. :( I'd much rather stay home and relax and not have to go to stupid basketball games and miss out on important sleep that I need. And very important homework time. :( At this point, I hate college.. at least dorm life.
current mood: cranky
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
honeybabe's journal